From Geoffrey to you; What I’m Not

Monday June 8, 2009

What I’m No

I went through some pretty interesting phases when I was younger. I
did the thing that most boys do when they are young and I would wear
the same underwear for days on end, just cause my friends did, I also
used to buy superhero underwear too so that I could show them off to
everyone. I went through the Hollister fad, I am sad to say that I
used to work there too. In high school my buddies and I went through
the sport coat and aviator sunglasses look, don’t ask ha. There was a
point when I wanted really cool shoes and whenever I got a nice pair I
would buy shoe cleaner and white dye and spent hours each week making
sure they looked spiffy. I went for the surfer look. I went for I
think a year with wearing bright red chucks. I had a Mohawk.
Obviously I have gone through a lot of phases growing up, some good
and some pretty embarrassing. I can make an excuse and say that I was
trying to find myself but the truth is that I was following the trends
of the time. I watched the latest shows, listening to the latest
music, said the latest cool words, and wore clothes of the latest
trends. I can list off dozens of reasons why and make numerous
excuses for my chameleon mentality, but the truth was that I was
desperately seeking acceptance.

I was chasing after popularity and was seeking to gain the approval of
my peers. I fed into the mentality that I had to look a certain way,
speak using specific words and give off the right attitude in order to
be accepted, and I’m not alone. I can’t tell you how many female
friends I have who struggle with eating disorders because they feel
like they need to be stick thin in order to be beautiful because that
is what MTV tells them. I can’t tell you how many guys I have met who
are chasing after the perfect body and hit the gym as often as they
can. I know way too many people who have fallen into the
materialistic mentality and chase after the newest, best, and most
expensive of everything. I know countless people who are serial
daters; they aren’t able to stay single because they are told that
they aren’t of worth if they don’t have a lover. The media has made
us believe that if we don’t have these shoes, dress this way, weigh
this much, have the nicest car, have the best hair, have the biggest
muscles, speak this specific way that we are nothing. As young
adults, we find our identity in this futile attempt to chase after the
wind. We are seeking approval and acceptance in things that will only
leave us empty, alone and only feeling more inadequate than ever.

Even though thousands of miles separate the U.S. and Kenya the desire
to be accepted is universal. I spent a couple of hours speaking to a
young college student about the culture here and I came to find that
it was just like ours. Kids here watch music videos and want that
life so they dress that way, speak that way and live their life the
way that the celebrities tell them life should be lived. Girls
struggle with eating disorders even here because the media, like ours,
tells them that they have to look a certain way in order to be
beautiful. He told me about all of the fads he went through, the
different ways he strived for acceptance and the feelings of
inadequacy and emptiness that he was left with afterwards.

Revelations 18:11-12 “The merchants of the earth will weep and mourn
over her (the fallen Babylon) because no one buys their cargoes any
more – cargoes of gold, silver, precious stones and pearls; fine
linen, purple, silk and scarlet cloth; every sort of citron wood, and
articles of every kind made of ivory, costly wood, bronze, iron and
marble”

The reason I keep on keeping on. The reason I dream big dreams. The
reason I continue to pursue philanthropic work. The reason I continue
to fight and stand firm is because I believe that one day there will
be more. I believe that my attempts, the blood and sweat I pour into
my work isn’t for nothing. I believe in Revelations 21:3-4, Isaiah
2:4 (my tattoo) and Revelations 18:11-12. I believe that one day all
of the pain and suffering will be no more. Those feelings of
inadequacy, emptiness and the pursuit of the useless and mundane will
be no more. Those people selling our youth and community the idea
that they aren’t of value if they don’t dress, speak and act a certain
way will weep and mourn because no longer will we fall for the lies.
There will be a day when girls will no longer feel compelled to weigh
a certain amount, where the type of car you drive isn’t important,
where your clothes are simply there to keep you warm and where the
pointless pursuit of unimportant things will cease.

I guess the reason I wrote this was just because I was tired. I am
tired of people feeling ugly, fat, and as if they are lesser beings
because they are different. I am tired of people spending everything
they have trying to appease this hunger and desire for feelings of
worse and only finding themselves consumed with feelings on inadequacy
and a need for more. Tried of seeing high school students feel
obligated to get drunk over the weekends in order to fit in (that is
another really prevalent thing here too, just like at home most high
school students drink). Tired of seeing young girls jump into sexual
relationships because they think they need it in order to win the
approval of their boyfriend. With that I am tired of having my heart
break for young struggling single mothers who fell for the lies.
Tired of hearing about people being overtaken with thoughts of suicide
because, despite their efforts, they remain unaccepted and
misunderstood. I am tired of the empty life our youth live and the
sometimes non-existent self esteem as the consequence.

Prayer Requests:
Janet is going to the eye clinic tomorrow. Pray that the doctors give
her good news and can fix the problem
Jason Nate travels
Funds for a generator and different Tumaini Projects

Randoms:
I have sunflower seed oil to cook with… have you ever heard of that before?
I busted out a hackey sack today at a college we visited… I am REALLY bad
A friend sent me a bunch of stickers, temporary tattoos and books… I AM STOKED
I met a guy who works as a cook in the restaurant I eat at…. He works
17 hours a day, 7 days a week for VERY little…
The internet is REALLY slow right now… REALLY slow
Today I rode in the Matatu, I finally saw the hand off. The drivers
are legally required to only allow one person per seat and everyone is
supposed to be wearing a seat belt, but every time they drive through
a check point the slide some cash to the police as a bribe to cram as
many people in the Matatu as possible to make more money

WORD OF THE DAY
Nimechoka
Ni-may-choke-uh
I am TIRED

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