Posted on June 22nd, 2009 at 12:00 pm by Genesis
Monday June 22, 2009
At Peace
It seems like no matter where I go, what corner I turn or if I am even looking for it, I always seem to stumble across some of the most inspiring people and their stories. I have heard of a man who started with a chicken and is now bumping elbows with the richest people in Kenya and has more lands and businesses than we could ever dream of having. I have run a muck and laughed till my sides were about to burst with people who at one point tried to commit suicide. I have friends that are the definition of oppressed, and yet they continue to press on and work. I know people who give away more than they take in. I know people who are willing to give away the last of their food to others in worse circumstances. I know people who have become such great successes that their life story blows the concept of rags to riches out of the water. The people I have met are willing to give when they have nothing, pray to encourage others, serve even though it seems like their days don’t come with enough hours to get everything done, have had their lives transformed, and are the definition of perseverance.
There is a young girl who I met within the first few days of my arrival here. She always has a smile on her face, is sometimes shy but in a friendly way and always seems to be helping her guardian either in her shop, by preparing food or by cleaning. She is a great friend and I always enjoy spending time with her and her relatives. She is sponsored by Tumaini and I finally heard her story the other day.
Her parents died of AIDS before this girl was old enough to remember. For the majority of her life she was raised by an aunt and a few years ago she moved in with another aunt, both of them treated her pretty poorly. She was never good enough and was given the red-headed step child treatment. She wasn’t given adequate amounts of food, she told me that she always had to eat the remains from previous days instead of fresh food. Her schooling wasn’t much of a priority for her guardians so she struggled a lot trying to go to school. She has a scar on her cheek and I asked her where it came from. She said that she had been told to do the dishes and didn’t clean them well enough and was severely beaten because of it. She wasn’t allowed to leave her house. She was emotionally and physically abused. She spent most of her life feeling as though she wasn’t of value or worth. The conversation made a turn for the better when she told me about the day she received a letter from Tumaini saying she was sponsored.
Tears had been building up in her eyes as her story unfolded, but the second she mentioned the remarkable day that the acceptance letter came her face lit up… it was an answer to prayer and she knew that her life was about to change for the better. Soon afterwards she ended up moving in with another aunt here in Masii. Between this aunt and Tumaini her life has been transformed. She told me that living here for these past few months have been the most incredible of her life. This is the best part of her life. She said that she has never felt loved like she does now and that life had never been so good. You know why she said life was so good? Because she gets to eat regular food, she gets to go to school, she has a family that loves and accepts her, when her clothes get old she is given new ones, and when she is invited to go out she is given permission to leave the house. It is amazing how an ordinary life for some of us is a dream come true for others.
This girl had a horrible life but it was transformed the day that she got that letter from Tumaini. I feel so privileged to be working with this organization.
I hope you are all doing well
Prayer Requests:
I am leaving tomorrow morning at 4 am to take Janet to the eye clinic and Carro to get her head checked up on. Travels… the roads and other drivers can be vicious
Janet’s eye surgery
Zacks Chemotherapy
Discernment for myself for some pretty big decisions
Posted on June 20th, 2009 at 2:03 pm by Genesis
Saturday June 20, 2009
They never fail to inspire me
I have written about the Tumaini Alumni Alliance a few times. If you missed out on reading about it let me fill you in. The T.A.A. is an inspiring group of young adults that have graduated or are near to graduating from high school because of Tumaini. They were in a very tough situation themselves until Tumaini came in and enabled them to go to school, now they want to give back to the less fortunate. They began this past year and targeted an extremely poor family in the community and together came up with just over $30 to buy food for this family and they also made them chairs. They have taken on other works within the community as well including providing food and goods to the poor, visiting the sick, and beautification projects for the Tumaini property. Today we set out for another adventure.
We traveled a short distance to meet a elderly woman who is caring for her three grandchildren who were orphaned by AIDS. This woman was chased off her property by her husband who is apparently a drunk. With no where to go and little money she moved into an apartment, that is just one room, with her and her three grandchildren. In her old age she does small jobs in the local farms to try to earn a little money for her and her grandchildren. The problem, however, is that this drought has hurt the farms which affects her. Most people are affected by this drought which makes finding small jobs difficult. Her rent is $5 a month and yet that is a struggle. Thankfully Tumaini has been able to step in and send two of her grandchildren to school and helps to meet those two children’s needs.
We pulled up this afternoon and brought bags full of food and all sorts of goods. The T.A.A. heard about the troubles this woman was facing and the overwhelming amount of despair and wanted to help. The T.A.A. was able to touch, yet again, another life. Each time I meet with the T.A.A. or hear about their works I am inspired and consider it a blessing. They encourage me to step up and step out.
I mentioned that two of the three children are sponsored by Tumaini, the brother of the two named Kilanzo he is nine years old and is on the waiting list to be sponsored. He is one of the cutest little boys you could ever meet and wants to be a police officer when he grows up. The odds are stacked up against him and he is in a situation where he needs help. I know that these are just words you are reading and that the pictures I send are of me standing with people you may never see, but understand that on the other end of these words and of the picture is a small boy who desperately needs help. I know many of you sponsor children, support different philanthropic works but I am presenting this boy to all of you and asking for someone to sponsor him. I know that $30 a month doesn’t sound like much and it seems like it doesn’t make a difference, but the truth is that it does. I ask that if you are able and willing please sponsor this young boy. Your $30 a month will literally be answered prayers and change a life forever.
I thank you all for your time and hope you are doing well.
Geoffrey
Prayer Requests:
Janet’s Surgery
Discernment for myself
Travels for Jason and John
Medical Center for Tumaini
Zacks chemotherapy and recovery
My aunts recovery
Posted on June 19th, 2009 at 12:07 pm by Genesis
Hello everyone,
I just wanted to give you all a little update on a few things. There was a girl I wrote about a few weeks ago that was being exploited in her work place. She was working ten hours a day, seven days a week for less than one dollar per day. I used some of the money you all gave me and bought a washing machine for her to do dry cleaning. Her shop is all together now and she is just about to open. The funny thing is that she has already gotten a TON of business without advertising or even opening yet. Thank you everyone who supported and helped with this.
We raised enough money for Janet’s eye operation. We are leaving Tuesday morning at 3 AM (waking up will sure be a challenge) to make sure we get to the eye clinic early. She will be operated on Wednesday and come home Thursday. The following week she will be able to take off the bandages. I am going to record her taking off her bandages and her being able to see for the first time in over six months so that you can all share in the experience. We are also going to be taking Carro, the girl with hydrocephalus, to a hospital a little further than the eye clinic to get a check up. Her mother is trucking along with her charcoal business and seems to be doing quite well with that and her pregnancy.
The button for my camera fell out Wednesday. The actually button you push to snap the shot is what I am talking about. So if I want to take a picture I have to shove a safety pin in this little hole and wiggle it… ha ha. I look really funny taking pictures ha ha.
Prayer Requests:
Janet’s surgery and recovery
Zack and his chemotherapy
My aunt and her recovery from the stroke
The dry cleaning business you all helped start
Posted on June 17th, 2009 at 1:24 pm by Genesis
Wednesday June 17, 2009
Days like today
Do you like getting hugs? Of course you do, who doesn’t? When you have been tossed around a few good times by life or haven’t seen someone for ages a hug seems to come naturally. There are a few different types of hugs. There are two really bad ones and I don’t know which one is worse. One of them is a side hug with a light pat on the back, wow slap me in the face why don’t you. The second is when you see someone and you go for a handshake and they go for a hug and then there is an awkward moment when you switch to a hug and then he goes for a handshake, you walk away feeling like a jerk for going for a handshake when they went for a hug. You have the bear hugs when it feels like the incredible hulk is trying to snatch the air out of your lungs. There are some that are really gentle and you feel like you aren’t really being hugged at all, I don’t like these ones. Lastly is the most sincere one. Have you ever been overwhelmed by life or a situation, cried your eyes out and felt completely alone and in your darkest hour you had someone wrap their arms around you? Have you ever had someone answer your prayers and your arms wrap around them, bite your bottom lip, and your head drops onto their shoulder as you thank them? This is the type of hug I got today.
I went with Tumaini to deliver food to families today. We walked up to the first home with about 45 kg of dried corn and beans, oils, salt, tea, gas, cooking fat, rice and a few other things. Before we were able to speak any words a very old woman walked up to me and embraced me. I didn’t get a side hug. She didn’t pat my back. She didn’t give me a bear hug. She wrapped her arms around me in the most sincere and genuine way I have ever experienced and she held on. It was one of thankfulness and was one of those moments you wished lasted forever.
It turned out that she cares for seven grand children and her husband. Her daughter died of AIDS a few years back and Tumaini supports her and her grand children. Her husband became paralyzed this past year and spends each day lying on a wooden bed unable to move himself. The food we were able to bring was an answer to prayer and gift from God for this family because of this horrid drought. This was enough food to feed them for a couple of months.
Have you ever been in a position where in your hands you carried the answer to someone’s prayers? Day after day they cry out to God for help and you are fortunate enough to have been chosen to be the answer to those prayers?
I had pretty much the same experience with the other visits today as well… days like today inspired, encourage and drive me forward. I thank God for days like today.
Geoffrey
Prayer Requests:
The travels of Jason and John
Sarah’s opening business, the one I used some of the money you gave me to start
Janet’s eye operation
Zack, he is starting his chemotherapy soon
My Aunt and her continual recovery from the stroke
Getting Stacy’s wheelchair… still waiting… argh
Posted on June 16th, 2009 at 10:47 am by Genesis
Tuesday June 16, 2009
Snowballs and sleepless nights
I like to go into an empty room by myself and let my mind loose; I could spend hours laying on a bed dreaming big dreams. Each time I do this and let my mind out of the cage, while paying no attention to obstacles and limitations, I start with one small dream and it gets bigger, grander and flirts within the brinks of impossible; I love to do this. I am amazed at the ideas, aspirations and inspirations that surface during these dreaming sessions. Sleepless nights give me the greatest amounts of encouragement and seem to open my eyes to the next chapter that life seems to offer. I can’t tell you how many times I have been dead asleep and abruptly woken up just by the need to write down an idea for a sermon, ways to help someone, ministries to start or lessons. I found that every time this happens it is seemingly impossible for me to go to sleep if I don’t write the idea or concept down, but then when I write it down I start thinking about it and it starts to snowball into some immense dream; I love this. I love sleepless nights. I love dreaming big dreams, especially dreams that are impossible. I love being so excited and inspired to do something that I have to tell someone. I love it when my mind snowballs a small dream into something big and impractical.
The last few days have been a breath of fresh air. Two Americans from Wisconsin made their way to Masii to teach leadership skills to our new church; this has been incredible for our congregation but I feel like it has been even more incredible for me. I spent the entire day yesterday with one of them, we gabbed for hours about church, God and life. After the whole ordeal my ticker got a jumpstart, I feel as though I was dreaming so much that aspirations were seeping out of my pores, I can’t even deny that God used that man to ignite something within myself that is far bigger than me. I couldn’t wait to part with him, not because I didn’t enjoy our conversation but because I couldn’t wait to go into my empty room and simply dream. I could hardly wait to let my mind go, to think of the impossible, to snowball something small into something huge. It haven’t had a sleepless night for a while, maybe my batteries just needed recharging or I needed to get away from the busyness of life I’m not sure why but I know that last night it seemed as though I didn’t sleep a wink.
One of the reasons that I decided to come to Kenya and to later make my way to Mexico is because I felt like I had lost something. I felt as though I had lost that all-consuming passion just to serve and was missing my heart. I felt like I had lost the ability to dream big dreams. I felt like my desires became mundane and too limited, I felt like I had lost that umph to strive and reach beyond the stars and to think within the realm of the impossible. I felt like I was going through the motions and was missing the heart behind everything I was doing. It was gone; the sleepless nights, snowballing, dreaming… it was all gone.
I found it again. I feel as though I found what I traveled to the other side of the world for. As I laid there last night I found myself in a flood of more dreams, desires, ambitions, aspirations, inspirations, muses and encouragement than any amount of words would ever justifiably articulate. During the wee hours of this morning, after being prodded and had my eyes opened by this new friend, I found it.
Prayer Requests:
I have a lot of thinking to do, a lot of things I need to plan out and a lot of decisions to make
Janet and her eye surgery
The leadership of MCC
The different projects for Tumaini and the funding for them
Randoms:
The country director of Tumaini is named Paul and he cracks me up. He came to America this last year and was telling me stories about it today, I nearly peed my pants. He went to Universal Studios apparently. He told me about going on the jarassic park ride. He said that when it dropped down the little hill that he thought the ride was broken and that he was trying to get off and jump out cause it would sink, but the lap belt wouldn’t let him. He was telling my old roommate about the ride and remembered the part of a dinosaur spitting on him and being chased by them. Then him and I talked about the back to the future ride, apparently we both got sick off of it even though it doesn’t actually move anywhere. He went to Venice beach and talked about the buffed up guys and the weirdos. He cracks me up so much. Too funny
Posted on June 13th, 2009 at 12:35 pm by Genesis
Saturday June 13, 2009
Wounded healers
As I have been reflecting upon my trip thus far I realize that I have heard both stories of great encouragement and some of incredible tragedy. I have become all too familiar with the selflessness and benevolence of the Kenyan people and hope that one day I can display a fraction of their love for others. I have been inspired by the willingness of some to go without so that others can have. My heart has been broken as I have heard time and time again of children been orphaned by AIDS and disease and then the all consuming passion within me is constantly ignited as I see members of the community and of the family taking in these orphans and providing for them. Our definition of community and loving others doesn’t come close to the genuine nature of those whom I have been blessed enough to meet here. The sincerity of their cries of worship and praise are unfathomable. The past three and a half months has been filled with countless extraordinary people and innumerable encounters of munificence in the flesh. Though I have been encouraged, moved and inspired by the compassion and authentic faith of this society I can help but commiserate as I look upon the extreme poverty, destitution, famine, and oppression.
It seems as though every family and person has been affected in one way or another from this horrid drought. Many local farmers are lacking both food to eat and a product to sell. The prices of some foods have skyrocketed exponentially. Herders are finding that their cattle are dying because they don’t have grass to graze on or water to drink. I have had countless parents plead with me to pay for school fees. It seems like each day I am stopped and asked for money or a loan. To be completely honest with you all, sometimes the needs seem a little overwhelming.
Don’t misunderstand what I am saying, I still feel as though my time here isn’t in vain and that I am making a difference and I still feel as though the ways I have spent money you have given me is in a productive way. It is just that the needs seem to grow but the bank isn’t (please don’t think I am asking for money because I’m not you have all gone above and beyond to support our work here). I guess what I am trying to say is that I have been wondering how these needs were going to be met.
I have written about Mama Carro a few times and in the last update I informed you all that she is seven months pregnant without a job or any source of income. I went by her home last night and found that she had begun selling charcoal for a job, low expense but a pretty substantial profit. This is going to be a stable income for this family because no matter how badly the people are affected by this drought charcoal is a necessity so her business shouldn’t be affected. The biggest problem was just purchasing the initial product to sell.
A few weeks ago our church chose a few people to head up a ministry created specifically to meet the needs of the people of Masii and within our congregation. This group has already enabled Mama Carro to provide for herself and her family. They have also raised enough money to send Janet to the eye clinic and are working on raising the funds for her operation in two weeks. We now have people bringing in food, clothing and goods to be distributed to those in need. These few individuals have been able to mobilize and act as a catalyst to our congregation towards meeting the needs of the community.
One of the most incredible aspects of this is that those who are leading this ministry aren’t in the best positions themselves, they aren’t rich and they themselves have many needs. The truth is that these individuals make up an army of wounded healers, they themselves may be impoverished or going through difficult ordeals but they are willing to set aside their troubles for others. I can’t help but be encouraged and inspired by their tenacity and their love for others.
There are many people who are suffering a great deal and there are many needs in Masii, but I feel as though these sufferings will one day come to pass as these few individuals continue to see a need and meet it.
Just goes to show you that you don’t have to be perfect or the best in order to help someone else. I’m a wounded healer, but I know that God has a way of using the broken and flawed to do great works.
Thanks,
Geoffrey Nighswonger
Prayer Requests:
Janet’s eyes
MCC leadership
The continual recovery of my aunt that had the stroke
Posted on June 11th, 2009 at 11:48 am by Genesis
Thursday June 11, 2009
Flimsy Bridges and Watch Thieves
I spent most of yesterday visiting Nairobi and it turned out to be quite the productive day. I was able to get the extension for my stay, meaning I wont get deported ha ha. We were able to pick up a sick Tumaini girl to take her to the new medical center. We were able to buy the washing machine for our friend, this is to help her start her own small business which is such a huge blessing (even though it took us a while to figure out how to put it in the van because it was so big). We went to this place that is like a giant walmart to buy it, I got to buy chocolate but was a glutton and ate it all already (big mistake my stomach hurts). The coolest place we visited was one of the slums of Nairobi, no idea how to spell it but I think that it is something like Mathere… that is my best guess.
Think about thousands and thousands of small shacks stacked side by side. Some buildings are made of stone, but it seems like the vast majority were made from sheets of metal and planks of wood. The spaces between these shanties were sometimes ridiculously small and small rivers ran along most of the walkways, they were rivers of waste and sewage. To get in to Mathere we had to cross a flimsy bridge that was basically half of palette of wood, I am REALLY thankful I didn’t slip and fall. The walkways, walls, and ground was completely covered with garbage. The initial walk way had so much garbage covering it that it seemed a little springy. The smell was pretty intense, I’ll just leave it at that. This was the epitome of poverty.
A place where there is great suffering is a place of great opportunity. A place like this is the perfect place for someone to use what they have been blessed with to help someone else, to give back, and that is exactly what people are doing. Groups, organizations and churches have helped this area in different ways, one of them is called Community Transfomers.
Community Transformers was started by two young men who were born and raised in these slums. They give have given smalls amounts of money to HIV positive people for them to start businesses and to enable them to provide for themselves. They have taken in orphans, pay for their education and provide for their needs. They offer after school tutoring and mentoring time. They started only a few years ago and yet have touched dozens and dozens of lives.
War broke out during the presidential elections this last year. Kenya is divided into many different tribes but there are two prominent ones. Each of these two tribes had a presidential candidate. When one gained victory over the other the two tribes ended up slaughtering each other. Churches and schools were burnt down, limbs were lost by being cut off by machetes, girls were raped, people were murdered, and a complete massacre took place. Friends were killing friends and neighbors were slaying neighbors. This horrible incident took place partly around this area. During all of the killing and violence, Community Transformers was one of the very few groups that was allowed safe access to both sides to gather the dead and wounded. They would receive phone calls from both sides to come and get the lifeless and the hurt.
Amazing! This small group of people had become recognized to the extent to be trusted and to have the respect of both tribes.
I was really inspired by their story of the beginning of this organization. I was humbled by their dreams for Community Transformers. I was touched by the heart and compassion that they have.
As we were walking around I caught a young kid trying to snag my watch. I didn’t tell anyone at the time cause I didn’t want him to get in trouble, I thought it was pretty sad. He couldn’t have been older than fourteen and yet he was in a position where he had to steal. Depressing.
Our trip fueled me to keep on keeping on. It showed me that a small group of people united in heart can make a difference. It showed me that there is always hope.
Geoffrey Nighswonger
Prayer Requests:
Janet and her surgery
Stacy’s Wheelchair… still waiting
Jason Nates travels
Randoms:
I was looking to see how much a new digital camera would cost… lots of stuff is cheaper here than at home… it was like double what we charge… bummer : (
There is this thing called a Samosa. It is like a taco but a triangle… SOO good
I ate a coconut today… it was my first time… I think we should have waited a little longer cause it tasted pretty bitter
I was sent some mini DV tapes… so I am recording some of the stories I have written about. I am letting the ones who want to tell their stories so you guys can hear them for yourself and see them. I recorded Janet and her daughter today
Apparently this Jason Nate guy is really awesome. Mutuko (the grounds keeper of the hotel I stay at) calls him his best friend. Each day he comes running to me and asks me when Jason is coming. He told me about how Jason gives him his clothes and shoes and sometimes money. They Jason sent Mutuko a text message a few days ago and Mutuko came running to me to tell me that Jason sent him a message. He keeps on telling me about how wonderful and great Jason is. It makes me really excited about meeting him too.
I remember in Cast Away that Tom Hanks said that coconuts are a natural laxative… I think he was right.
Word of the Day
Mambo? Pua
Mambo pooh-ah
How are you (to a young person)? Fine.
Posted on June 10th, 2009 at 1:42 pm by Genesis
Tuesday June 9, 2009
I think I was a little confused when I first became a Christian because I used to think of God like Santa Claus. Every prayer I prayed was more like the reading of a wish list and desperate pleas for bigger and better materialistic things. Even though I prayed for these things each night I am still waiting for my millions of dollars, smoking hot model girl friend, and the ridiculously good looks. Maybe I got a rain check in which case I am still waiting to cash it, but that isn’t likely. I think that I thought about God and prayers completely wrong by putting the entire focus on myself and the furthering of my kingdom.
I have written about and mentioned Janet numerous times. This twenty-three year old woman unexpectedly became blind less than a year ago. She tried going to numerous doctors, hospitals and medical centers but every treatment center seemed to be a dead end and offered ineffective or no help at all. I went with her to the best eye clinic in Kenya about three weeks ago so she could get their take on things. Their gut-wrenching answer was that she would never be able to see again and that it was physically impossible for her to see again because her optic nerve is completely dead.
In all honesty, this whole ordeal about her eyesight has completely torn apart my heart. I have prayed more times than I can count. I have shed tears and literally wept, the look on her face and the tears she shed when she heard the dreaded news three weeks ago struck her so intensely that I couldn’t help but hurt as well. I have visited her nearly each day, talking, reading and just hanging out. She has an incredible little two-year-old girl that says she is number one in her class even though she doesn’t go to school.
I tell you this because I feel like we need to understand that in any dark situation there is always a beacon of hope and light. Since receiving the horrid news three weeks ago Janet has gotten better. With each passing day her eye sight is restoring more and more. She has gone from being completely blind to being able to see colors, shapes and light. There was absolutely no hope whatsoever as far as the doctors were concerned, but God had other plans apparently.
If being able to see colors and light isn’t good enough, Janet made her way to the eye clinic today and the doctors said that her eyes have improved so much that they are going to do an operation in two weeks and she should be able to see again. They were blown away at the improvement in these past three weeks!
Words can’t explain how pumped, excited, thankful, awestruck, and simply at peace I am right now. If you only knew how many prayers I cried out or how many times my heart sank by thinking about Janet’s life and future. In James it says, “the prayer of a righteous man is both powerful and effective.†I wouldn’t call myself righteous, I am too self indulgent and prideful for that, but I can tell you that these prayers I cried out were as genuine as you can get. I can tell you that these tears I cried and the concerns pressed on my heart were sincere. Have you ever prayed for something with more tenacity and passion than you had ever before? I prayed and prayed for Janet, time and time again… now that those prayers are actually being answered I don’t know what to think. I am just kind of in awe… and a little dumbfounded. You praying knowing that God answers prayers, but when it happens you are kind of blindsided sometimes.
Is that just me or does that happen to you too?
Please pray for this whole situation. Pray for the continual improvement of her eyes and for the funds for this operation.
Posted on June 8th, 2009 at 11:29 am by Genesis
Monday June 8, 2009
What I’m No
I went through some pretty interesting phases when I was younger. I
did the thing that most boys do when they are young and I would wear
the same underwear for days on end, just cause my friends did, I also
used to buy superhero underwear too so that I could show them off to
everyone. I went through the Hollister fad, I am sad to say that I
used to work there too. In high school my buddies and I went through
the sport coat and aviator sunglasses look, don’t ask ha. There was a
point when I wanted really cool shoes and whenever I got a nice pair I
would buy shoe cleaner and white dye and spent hours each week making
sure they looked spiffy. I went for the surfer look. I went for I
think a year with wearing bright red chucks. I had a Mohawk.
Obviously I have gone through a lot of phases growing up, some good
and some pretty embarrassing. I can make an excuse and say that I was
trying to find myself but the truth is that I was following the trends
of the time. I watched the latest shows, listening to the latest
music, said the latest cool words, and wore clothes of the latest
trends. I can list off dozens of reasons why and make numerous
excuses for my chameleon mentality, but the truth was that I was
desperately seeking acceptance.
I was chasing after popularity and was seeking to gain the approval of
my peers. I fed into the mentality that I had to look a certain way,
speak using specific words and give off the right attitude in order to
be accepted, and I’m not alone. I can’t tell you how many female
friends I have who struggle with eating disorders because they feel
like they need to be stick thin in order to be beautiful because that
is what MTV tells them. I can’t tell you how many guys I have met who
are chasing after the perfect body and hit the gym as often as they
can. I know way too many people who have fallen into the
materialistic mentality and chase after the newest, best, and most
expensive of everything. I know countless people who are serial
daters; they aren’t able to stay single because they are told that
they aren’t of worth if they don’t have a lover. The media has made
us believe that if we don’t have these shoes, dress this way, weigh
this much, have the nicest car, have the best hair, have the biggest
muscles, speak this specific way that we are nothing. As young
adults, we find our identity in this futile attempt to chase after the
wind. We are seeking approval and acceptance in things that will only
leave us empty, alone and only feeling more inadequate than ever.
Even though thousands of miles separate the U.S. and Kenya the desire
to be accepted is universal. I spent a couple of hours speaking to a
young college student about the culture here and I came to find that
it was just like ours. Kids here watch music videos and want that
life so they dress that way, speak that way and live their life the
way that the celebrities tell them life should be lived. Girls
struggle with eating disorders even here because the media, like ours,
tells them that they have to look a certain way in order to be
beautiful. He told me about all of the fads he went through, the
different ways he strived for acceptance and the feelings of
inadequacy and emptiness that he was left with afterwards.
Revelations 18:11-12 “The merchants of the earth will weep and mourn
over her (the fallen Babylon) because no one buys their cargoes any
more – cargoes of gold, silver, precious stones and pearls; fine
linen, purple, silk and scarlet cloth; every sort of citron wood, and
articles of every kind made of ivory, costly wood, bronze, iron and
marbleâ€
The reason I keep on keeping on. The reason I dream big dreams. The
reason I continue to pursue philanthropic work. The reason I continue
to fight and stand firm is because I believe that one day there will
be more. I believe that my attempts, the blood and sweat I pour into
my work isn’t for nothing. I believe in Revelations 21:3-4, Isaiah
2:4 (my tattoo) and Revelations 18:11-12. I believe that one day all
of the pain and suffering will be no more. Those feelings of
inadequacy, emptiness and the pursuit of the useless and mundane will
be no more. Those people selling our youth and community the idea
that they aren’t of value if they don’t dress, speak and act a certain
way will weep and mourn because no longer will we fall for the lies.
There will be a day when girls will no longer feel compelled to weigh
a certain amount, where the type of car you drive isn’t important,
where your clothes are simply there to keep you warm and where the
pointless pursuit of unimportant things will cease.
I guess the reason I wrote this was just because I was tired. I am
tired of people feeling ugly, fat, and as if they are lesser beings
because they are different. I am tired of people spending everything
they have trying to appease this hunger and desire for feelings of
worse and only finding themselves consumed with feelings on inadequacy
and a need for more. Tried of seeing high school students feel
obligated to get drunk over the weekends in order to fit in (that is
another really prevalent thing here too, just like at home most high
school students drink). Tired of seeing young girls jump into sexual
relationships because they think they need it in order to win the
approval of their boyfriend. With that I am tired of having my heart
break for young struggling single mothers who fell for the lies.
Tired of hearing about people being overtaken with thoughts of suicide
because, despite their efforts, they remain unaccepted and
misunderstood. I am tired of the empty life our youth live and the
sometimes non-existent self esteem as the consequence.
Prayer Requests:
Janet is going to the eye clinic tomorrow. Pray that the doctors give
her good news and can fix the problem
Jason Nate travels
Funds for a generator and different Tumaini Projects
Randoms:
I have sunflower seed oil to cook with… have you ever heard of that before?
I busted out a hackey sack today at a college we visited… I am REALLY bad
A friend sent me a bunch of stickers, temporary tattoos and books… I AM STOKED
I met a guy who works as a cook in the restaurant I eat at…. He works
17 hours a day, 7 days a week for VERY little…
The internet is REALLY slow right now… REALLY slow
Today I rode in the Matatu, I finally saw the hand off. The drivers
are legally required to only allow one person per seat and everyone is
supposed to be wearing a seat belt, but every time they drive through
a check point the slide some cash to the police as a bribe to cram as
many people in the Matatu as possible to make more money
WORD OF THE DAY
Nimechoka
Ni-may-choke-uh
I am TIRED
Posted on June 7th, 2009 at 2:07 pm by Genesis
Sunday June 7, 2009
Right under my nose
I have written about Janet and her loss of eyesight a few times. For those of you who don’t already know, Janet is twenty-three and became blind less than a year ago. We took her to the optometrist a few weeks ago and she was told that she would never be able to see again. Never again would she be able to see her daughter’s smile, never again would she stand in awe of the sheer captivating beauty of a sunset or gaze at the stars and dream. When the sickness originally began to grow from bad to worse Janet was abandoned by her friends and was left to battle this illness with only few on her side. With an overwhelming amount of darkness, depression and despair surrounding her, she lost hope. After speaking with someone who has stood by her side throughout this ordeal, I found out that Janet used to spend every day crying and was in such a depressed state that she slept all day. I can tell you that no amount of words can express the pain and desolation that overtook her as the doctors told her she would never see again, she burst into tears, I couldn’t bare to be in the room as the doctors told her the news. Since the appointment with the optometrist, the vibrant colors of clothing and the shimmer of the sun dance before her eyes; this girl who isn’t supposed to be able to see is now seeing. She is only able to see a small amount, but she is still able to see. It reminds me of how an entire room can be illuminated by the smallest of flames. This overwhelming and sometimes smothering amount of darkness is no match for even the smallest amount of light. I see this situation and am forced to stand back in awe of God.
A few years ago, when I was in better shape and much dumber, a friend and I tried to run twenty miles a day for twenty days to raise money and awareness for Tumaini (Kenya is about 400 miles across the middle). After forty miles, blisters the size of Chicago, and losing a few pounds, my buddy getting internal bleeding we decided to throw in the towel. Even though we weren’t able to make the four hundred miles at that time, everything just seemed right. As we ran, jogged and walked our way from Seal Beach to Santa Monica and back no words were spoke the only audible thing was our panting, the soothing rhythm of our steps and the occasional wheeze for air. No words need to be spoken, our hearts were in the right place and it seemed like we were playing a part in something bigger than us. These moments were holy.
I remember hearing a woman share her testimony. She was into the party scene when she was younger and had numerous abortions. She settled down with the love of her life and they wanted to start a family but found that she wasn’t able to. The abortions had destroyed her insides and she had miscarriage after miscarriage. She considered herself the murderer of ten people, she had ten miscarriages and abortions. She wailed as she told us the hurts and pains that overwhelmed her soul. The silence was deafening after she shared. The suffering and pain she endured was horrible, but the healing that she spoke of that came after burying these old pains left us standing in awe and adoration of God. We were all in amazement of God.
I remember a homeless man named Randy. He had been a heroine addict for over thirty years. He lost his children and family to this addiction. He spent his time breaking into cars and houses trying to get money to feed this addiction; he would do anything to get loaded. I remember going to his camp, I used to go with a buddy about once or twice a week, but this day was different. As we started talking with Randy and he broke down. He told us how much he hated this addiction and how it had robbed him of his entire life. Tears were pouring down his face and he recollected everything this addiction stole from him. As tears flooded down his face he rushed into his tent, rummaged through his belongings and came out with a small plastic bag of heroine. I told us he didn’t want this addiction anymore and that he was giving it to God. Her torn open this drug and poured it all over the ground. Over fifty dollars of heroine was lost in the dirt that day, but the this burden was lifted off his chest, that was priceless. My buddy and I just stood there in amazement, in awe, adoration and flabbergasted at what God had done.
I love the children here, they always scream out my name and come running to me as I walk the streets of Masii. Every Sunday at church kids come rushing through the gates and they always seem to make a beeline for the mzungu; me. They are running at full speed and normally all pounce on me. I have kids on my back, some clinging to my legs, others managed to leap into my arms. Often they shake my hand and they don’t let go, they cling on like vice-grips. I look at these children and at how much love and joy they have and am in awe, adoration, amazement and flabbergasted at what God can do.
I have heard time and time again that God doesn’t perform miracles anymore. Most people are waiting to see someone walk on water, the crippled walk or the sick be healed magically. I recognize and realize that these are all incredible miracles and I do believe that they still happen this day and age (Janet for instance), but I think we have grown so numb that we fail to recognize the obvious. God is still working miracles. Lives are still being impacted. The impossible are still becoming possible, but just not in ways that we see. God’s power and might is displayed throughout our lives, it seems like we are simply too busy looking for bigger and better to see them.
I used to think that miracles only happen in other parts of the world, never in America though… I was wrong… Miracles happen everywhere, we just need to open our eyes to see and stop looking past what God has so majestically placed before us.
Asante Sana,
Mwendwa
Prayer Requests:
Jason Nate’s travels
Janet is going to the eye clinic on Tuesday, funds for that and for a better outcome than last time
Tumaini medical Center
Randoms:
I killed two mosquitos today… I have always been too slow to catch them
I ate 5 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches yesterday… I LOVE PB and J… one of my favorite foods… I decided to go nuts for them
I don’t think that any group of people can make you feel loved as much as Kenyans do
I got two boxes of books, stickers, hackey sacks and temporary tattoos today… I am STOKED!!! I have like fifteen books to read!
We had a movie night for the youth today… they all wanted to watch an American movie… after like five minutes they all decided they didn’t like it and wanted a Nigerian one
We used a generator today for electricity… one of the guys was pulling the cord to start it and tore it ha ha
